In the Dead of the Night
by kittycob
Summary: Set in present time. It's about Logan, sort of different in that way, so let me know what you think.


Title: In the dead of night

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Duh.

A/N: I don't really like Logan, but it's sort of groundless. The character is who he is. Maybe it's more I don't like the two of them together. But, I'm getting side tracked. This is a fic from Logan's POV, a little different. I like to think it's sort of how he is, not a jackass but uncomfortable in this new situation he finds himself in. Shorter fic, and not exactly full of action.

Also, yes, I wrote this when I could be writing another chapter of What Lies Within Us, but don't worry, with the Canada Day long weekend I've started it, it's just a little more complicated and longer to write than this. Will be out soon though (if anyone reads both it and this).

Btw, I HATE reviews (and if you believe that, I have this river in the desert I'd like to sell you)

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She runs her hands over his chest absent-mindedly, letting her fingers go as if she were playing the piano, even though she had never learned to play as a child. Her pinky presses over his bellybutton, and he shivers a little at her touch. He knows she thinks he's asleep, she always does.

She's always the first one to fall asleep, but sometimes he keeps his eyes closed and lets her think he's sleeping. She grows bolder that way. When she thinks he won't notice, she loses some of the inhibitions he knows she has when he's watching her. She touches him like she is doing now, spontaneously and freely; it's not the deliberate caresses like when they are having sex, done with thought and planning, not wanting to disappoint him. Sometimes she whispers thing in his ear that she would never say if she thought he could hear them, things she doesn't think he wants to hear.

And so he keeps his eyes closed, and his breathing even, and pretends like he has no idea what she's doing.

It's not just for her sake, it's for his. Cause if he opens his eyes and lets her know he's aware of it all, that means he has to deal with it. When he feigns sleep, he becomes her confessor and she spills everything to him. It helps him understand her, but scares him all the same because he doesn't know how to deal with her anymore. He's an expert at keeping things casual, uncomplicated, but with her that isn't an option. It's not escape he wants, but at the same time he doesn't know what to do, how he's supposed to act.

Even as he feels her hand fiddle around with a stray tuft of hair on his head, he hopes she'll fall asleep soon so that he can go. Not because he hates being with her, in fact it's getting harder and harder to leave every day, but because they're stuck sneaking around now in a way they never had to before, even with roommates. Emily and Richard Gilmore are not as understanding about their sex life as Finn or even Paris had been. He's resorted to sneaking around like a teenager, always careful to be long gone by the time the main house is up and around in the morning. He knows she hates waking up alone in the morning, but understands the necessity of it. She doesn't want to disappoint those around her more than she already has, she sees herself as a failure in their eyes.

He knows the estrangement from her mother hurts her, even if he has no idea how to fix it. He knows the elder Gilmore hates him, she's never made any bones about it. After Rory had moved in here she'd come to see him at Yale, scaring the living shit out of him. Apparently he was supposed to stop her from doing this, it was all somehow his fault. That he couldn't comprehend. How was he supposed to stop her from dropping out of school when she'd never even discussed it with him? When she still wouldn't? It's not like he wanted her to; it was so much more convenient for him when she was there within easy reach.

Even now she whispers in the darkness that she thinks she's falling in love with him. He doesn't give a tell-tale start of surprise; he's heard it before. She'll never say it to his face, scared he doesn't want that level of commitment, so instead she admits it only in the dead of night when she can verbalize it without consequence. He knows he'll have to be the first one to say it, but he's scared in his own way. Relationships have never been about love for him before, and he wants to make sure this one is before he says anything. He knows it's what she wants to hear, but can't give it to her before he's ready.

He supposes this between them is likely love. It's his first monogamous relationship, so he can't really be sure. He doesn't know how to act, but that doesn't make it any less real. Logan knew her mother was upset he hadn't reassured her his father's opinion of her was crap, but he thought he had done that. Didn't realize the amount of reassuring and explicit words he should have used. He would just chalk it up to a learning experience of what to do with one's distraught girlfriend, except that it had maybe drastically altered the course of her life.

He has heard her whisper how scared she is, how unsure of the future. He knows this is uncertain territory for her. She has never had to face adversity and hardship of this magnitude before. He doesn't see her taking a break as giving up or weakness, but knows her mother does. This is one that he resolutely keeps his eyes shut for because he doesn't know what to say, how to reassure her. He's not an expert on the subject, he's never had a real dream to be crushed. This whole situation terrifies him, any problems he's faced before have been shallow and one-dimensional. Even if he doesn't agree with it, he thinks the best thing he can do now is be supportive of whatever she chooses to do, especially since he doesn't have a guaranteed viable option.

He wishes he could go back to that moment in time and staple his father's mouth shut before he could say anything to Rory. Then none of this would have happened. God, what an ass. It was tempting to go punch his old man, but what would that solve at this point? The damage was done. He had begun to wish that Rory would show a little more anger at the man rather than taking his words as the gospel truth. Mitchum Huntzberger wasn't an expert on anything except how to alienate his children. He wished his words would make Rory try harder rather than rolling over dead like she was. The way she was acting, she would probably come home to Thanksgiving dinner with him and thank his father rather than telling him to shove it like he deserved.

Now, as she rests her head on his bare chest he feels a tear slide down her face onto him, and he steels himself against it. He lets his arm rest around her, as if to comfort, knowing she thinks that's just a reflexive response, not him awakening. When she cries it makes him feel helpless, and he stills pretend to sleep, not wanting to make the situation worse by confronting her on it. Whenever they're awake in the light of day she's almost convinced the both of them that she's sure this is the right course of action, that this is not an uncommon occurrence for college students, and she'll know what to do after a little time off from Yale. Even he knows it's not that easy, but he smiles and nods because he thinks it what she wants.

He feels her breathing even out, and her tense shoulders relax, and knows she's slipping into sleep. He allows his arms to tighten around her slightly, knowing she'll never notice, and he feels her bare skin beneath his hands. They're both soaked in sweat as the air conditioning in the pool house as been on the fritz, but he knows she's most comfortable when they're sandwiched together. It's not like in her dorm room with the single bed where they had no choice, it's a thing of comfort with her. She's a cuddler, and for some reason he doesn't mind.

And when he's absolutely sure that she's asleep, and he heard a slight snore escape her nose, that's when he finally feels comfortable enough to open his eyes.

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End file.
